Fulham West Ham

Fulham West Ham, Yawn, yawn, yawn … 23rd minute: Noble forced a save from Shwarzer at the expense of a corner. From the corner Upson heads wide from 10 yards … 26th minute: Dempsey hit the top of the crossbar from 20 yards with Green beaten … yawn, yawn yawn …

In the last five minutes of the first half the game suddenly came to some sort of life after forty minutes of boredom. In the 41st minute Da Costa tried a 30 yard effort which forced Shawarzer into a save, at the expense of a corner. from the corner Kovac headed just wide from 8 yards.

In the 44th minute Faubert played Cole clean through on goal but Cole was wrongly given offside. Fulham then broke forward and within a minute Dempsey opened the scoring, beating Green with a shot from the edge of the area into the bottom left corner of the goal.

If West Ham’s performance in the first half was lackadaisical their performance at the start of the second half was truly inept. Fulham Reserves Ladies were able to just stroke the ball around at will whilst the West Ham players looked on with a distinct lack of interest.

In the 56th minute Upson just avoided scoring an own goal when he put the ball inches over the bar from 5 yards. However this lead to a series of corners from Fulham which in turn led to a shot from 10 yards by Baird, which was heading well wide but cannoned off Cole and into the back of the West Ham net.

It took West Ham just two minutes to get one back. Cole cancelled out his own goal by scoring with a glancing header from 9 yards from a Noble freekick from wide and deep on the left wing.

In the 61st minute Diamanti and Franco came on for Ilan and Faubert. In the 80th minute Spector criminally gave the ball away on the West Ham byline on the left wing, after having an age to clear the ball. After stealing the ball from Spector Riise crossed the ball low into the area where Okaka had a tap in from five yards.

In the 92nd minutes Franco went some way to saving West Ham’s blushes after Parker pulled the ball back for him to score from ten yards.

Bugger the MP’s expenses scandal. It’s criminal that these boys in claret and blue will pick up tens of thousand pounds each this week for this joke of a performance. The players keep making a big deal about playing for Zola. After this performance you can’t help thinking that they have more or less guaranteed his departure from the club.

With the whole squad up for sale and after being laughed off the pitch at Craven Cottage I hear that Comedy Central are interested in signing half the West Ham side.